Friday, 9 May 2008

Please miss (for teachers everywhere)

This is one is for teacher's everywhere. My thanks to Melvyn, who sent it to me.

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her primary pupils put on his boots? Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on.

Finally, when the second boot was on, the teacher had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Please miss, they're on the wrong feet.' She looked and, sure enough, they were.

It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. The teacher managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.

The little boy then announced, 'These aren't my boots.' The teacher bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so?' like she wanted to.

Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they got the boots off when he said, 'They're my brother's boots. My mum made me wear them.'

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the little grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots onto his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?'

'I stuffed them in the toes of my boots,' he replied.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Another one.

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits, then two more rabbits and then another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Pupil: Seven!

Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I give you two rabbits, then two more rabbits and then another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Pupil: Seven!

Teacher: Let's try another way. If I give you two apples and then two more apples and then another two apples, how many apples have you got?

Pupil: Six!

Teacher: Good. Now, if I give you two rabbits, then two more rabbits and then another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Pupil: Seven!

Teacher: Argh! How do you work that out?

Paddy: I've already got one rabbit at home!

Another one from Melvyn said...

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman
waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he
can't figure out why he should know her.

So he says, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been
unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor
party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching
while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'